Already during pregnancy, expectant mothers have many questions about tests, prohibitions, discomfort and childbirth. It is at this point that they begin to get advice and help from relatives and less loved ones who want (sometimes too much) to do well. Some like it, others do not. It is said that women always help each other, so we impose with more or less delicacy. How to know if we should help or not?
Help in public
We know the song, all mothers, even those we do not know, need help from time to time. It’s always when we have both feet in the slush at the corner of a street, sucks in the mouth to try to remove the stroller that the bag that was in our elbow pierces and our purchases fall to the ground. It’s Murphy’s Law and Murphy’s Law likes parents who are overwhelmed.
In these cases, we must help. Obviously, we can first ask the mother if it’s ok and focus on shopping rather than on the baby infant not to offend, but leave a mother as badly taken by the side of the road, it is not OK . No offense to mothers who hate foreigners.
On the other hand, it is another story when a mother has lost control of her children in crisis. Nobody likes other parents educating their children. This is a very intrusive affront and parents do not need to see their children win by humiliation in full crisis management. Education by others parents does not help solving the situation. Better to keep your educational tips for yourself. We can, at a pinch, show compassion and empathy.
Should we only help when asked?
The most generous among you must be hurt by such little recognition. One says to oneself “If they are not satisfied, that they arrange”. Yet, many mothers really need help, they do not just need their loved ones to take control of their lives and take care of spheres that they feel they are mastering. It is for this reason that communication is paramount when one wants to help. We must be attentive to the needs of the mother we are talking about and support her in what she is struggling to do. Does she say that she would like to make her own purees, but she does not know how? It’s possible to show it to him. She wants to sleep a few hours? That’s good, we just wanted to cuddle a little baby.
The whole thing is not to overdo it and avoid imposing oneself, but that does not mean that we have to neglect a young mother we love. Because we must also know that many mothers have told us that they have lost many friends after having children. Helping is a good way to tame motherhood when you have no children and keep in touch with our friend who has just given birth. By chatting with the person and coming back from time to time, you will find an opportunity to make yourself useful.
Is it really to help?
We must also look at his intentions. If we help to give good lessons, to show that we really know the subject or because children bother us, parents know it and have less desire to delegate tasks.
On the other hand, if you want to make things easier for a stranger coming down the stairs with a stroller, our daughter, our friend, our sister, our sister-in-law or a colleague who has just given birth, our help will be certainly welcome. It’s all about showing kindness and common sense.